The journey continues
In just a few short months, my son, Bentley, will be turning 8 in heaven. Most days it seems like time has passed far too quickly, but in an instant time can stand still, and I can be taken to the moment of sitting in that ultrasound room hearing those God awful words. As I sit here, I am reminded with the heaviness and how isolated and ill prepared that I had felt in those moments. I can never go back. I can never undo that day. As October approaches, I have focused on how the years have changed. My husband and I went from a broken & grief stricken couple to a strong & growing family that has been learning to continually place God at the center of everything. We became a family not succumbed by our darkness, but a family who has grown by leaps and bounds in our faith. I can honestly say that I have no clue where I would be if I did not have hope in Jesus when Bentley died.
Did having that hope make me miss Bentley any less? Does it diminish my pain and heart ache for a boy that I have loved with my whole being since those two little lines appeared on that stick? Not. one. bit. My faith did not make me a super hero. My faith actually has taken ups and downs throughout the last 8 years. I told a dear friend last night, Bentley's life saved my own life. His death transformed my faith. And, it is because of that little boy that I have taken one foot in front of the other, never giving up but creating hope through his legacy. Bentley's death was not my end, but it was a defining moment where I had a choice to surrender to the darkness or walk by faith.
As I sit here, I am reminded that tonight, a project that I once dreamed to create almost 8 years ago has begun. A project that I hope will bring hope and healing to so many in their time of darkness. This journey could have never have begun without a little boy who taught me to be a mother. Tonight, I am thankful and blessed to be Bentley's mother. His death shattered me, yes; but, the pieces of my life have come back together to tell a beautiful story. A story of bringing life to death, hope to healing, and faith by one foot in front of the other.
As this journey begins, I ask that you'll add Hope Through Birth to your prayer list. I ask that you'll add myself and our board members to your list too. I pray that we can reach those that are hurting. It is my desire to walk in when others may walk out to show them that they are not alone. Thank you for your continued support. We couldn't do this without our wonderful community!